Whine & Cheese

First appeared at  OTHERWORLDDINER.blogspot.com  

I have a legitimate complaint. Honestly, I do. My dilemma is picking which one I want to whine about most. There is so much subject matter to choose from. The lousy economy, the 10% pay cut I just had to take because of the lousy economy, the extra spring landscape work I have to do because I ignored the fall clean up, the insurance guy who forgot to add that rider for our other property and we didn’t find out until after that wind storm. When it comes to bellyaching, I can probably lead the pack.

Quote:  Oh, wouldn’t the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at?  ~W.S. Gilbert

That’s totally true, but I’m taking the high road for this forum. Never mind that I’m risking an ulcer in the process for locking away all that angst. They have a name for people who publicly complain on blogs you know – Demotivational Posters. No way I’m getting stuck with that moniker. Not that I haven’t been called Moniker before, with a name like Monica I’ve certainly heard worse. No, what worries me is the burning hole that rage creates if it doesn’t find a way out. Fortunately there are options for those of us needing to vent their irritation in a non-high-profile way.

~ Find a secluded corner and scream. I don’t personally recommend this one unless you are completely alone. The resulting 911 calls from neighbors or coworkers only add to your growing heap of frustration.

~ Keep a journal and write down every nasty thought that comes your way. Just make sure you either hide it where it will never, ever be found, or burn the massive tome at the end of each year. Last thing you need is for someone to find it and make your mad rantings public.

~ Go public with your nitpicking. I know, I just said you shouldn’t. But there are actually websites that allow you to anonymously snarl at the world. Just change the names of any mentioned evil doers because an injunction for slander will only cause more irritation. There are sites online that encourage you to blast your aggravations to the world. Or just drop by for a dose of someone else’s ire. Might make yours seem paltry, thus releasing your stress.

~ Voodoo dolls. Don’t do it. Even though the gratification of sticking a hat pin through the spleen of your annoyance might sound tempting, the law of karma should make you think twice. The safety of your own spleen might be at stake here.

~ There’s my personal favorite – write a book and create characters to either kill off or suffer the fires of purgatory. Model your victims from those you despise the most. It’s sneaky, cathartic, and though your nemesis might suspect, they can never prove it, not as long as you’ve taken proper precautions (see slander reference above).

And lastly, it may comfort you to know that complaining is as old as time. If cavemen could grunt their displeasure, why can’t you? Well, you can. Have you any idea how many words there are that can be defined ‘to complain’? Moan, whimper, bellyache, gripe, drone, howl, criticize, grumble, carp, nag, object, protest, bitch, nitpick, grouse, bemoan, lament, growl, snarl, rumble, grizzle, snivel, grouch, whine…and about a zillion more. This legitimizes complaining as an art form.

Quote:  I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.  ~Jane Wagner

That proves it, right? So there you have it. My little rant on complaining. What about you? Have you any suggestions to share? A crafty way of venting that gets the point across without bashing anyone over the head? Not that I’m not counting that option out or anything, sometimes I’d like nothing better than to deliver a good whacking. It’s just the physical effort it takes would be exhausting.

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